i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize