I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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