It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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