So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
