You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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