i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize