she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
