i need an iv and a liver transplant
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
