spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
