Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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