I don't usually arrange sex via text message
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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