I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
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Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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