having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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