whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
this hospital has no fireball
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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