i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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