At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
