Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
