There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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