So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
