Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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