It's Friday. Sex?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
