need another drink. this is the easiest way
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
