Me too!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He passed out mid-signature
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
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