so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
