I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how do flat chested girls get laid?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
