Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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