No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
