Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
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Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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