since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
