Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
