I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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