you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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