"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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