Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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