hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
