We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
