She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
