so that wasnt chicken after all
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
