Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
