The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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