I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
