i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
