could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
