and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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