1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you win again, gameday.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again