Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.