I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Houston, we have a squirter
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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