she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
