You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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