Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
