Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
