She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
