I wish I could punch you in the face.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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