i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
