you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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