I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
