That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My vagina is officially offended.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
