Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
