Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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