You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
