I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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