margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
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